An extended engagement: Sharon and Ellis tie the knot 17 years after he popped the question
Sharon and Ellis didn’t have the best start in life. Both found themselves homeless and living on the streets in the 1980s, but they met and found happiness in each other’s company in a homeless hostel, drawn together by a shared sense of humour.
Their first date was a trip to the cinema with free tickets given to them by the hostel – which sounds great, until they found out they were watching a classic surrealist horror film, Eraserhead. Needless to say, they didn’t stay to the end.
‘I’d been homeless since I was about 16,’ explained Sharon, ‘and I met Ellis when I was about 18 in a hostel in Kings Cross. I’d been walking the streets in my bare feet. As a woman, you can’t sleep on the streets at night – it just isn’t safe. It’s such a stressful life. We didn’t manage to stick together during our homeless time, but we kept meeting up, then splitting up. I’ve been married once and Ellis has been married three times.’
‘When I found out where she was living after my last marriage fell apart, I spoke to her on the phone, and I just knew it. I wanted to be with her – and that was 17 years ago,’ said Ellis. Sharon chimes in with a big smile on her face, ‘It was quite a long engagement, but we didn’t want to rush anything.’
Sharon is under the care of the hospice for ovarian cancer. ‘Initially, the hospital said it was a severe infection. Then they said it was an abscess, which is why my temperature wouldn’t go down. The consultant said, “I’ve got a huge presentation coming up and, if you consent, you will be part of this presentation. I will show my students how to vent an abscess on the ovaries.” I said OK, and off we went to the London hospital. I got set up to do an ultrasound and a live feed was going into the presentation room with the students.
The radiographer started scanning, but then she just stopped. She said, “No, we’ll be stopping you there. We’ll have to stop there.” She was shocked, and I said, “Why?” So she said, “It’s not an abscess – you’ve got cancer.” She had cut the feed so the students didn’t hear, but that is how I found out I had terminal cancer.’
Since then, Sharon has undergone multiple treatments including a stoma that then needed to be reversed, and chemo. Life has not been easy. ‘Then I had a scan and they said it had gone into my lymph nodes. When you hear that, you know there is nothing more they can do. To be honest, I knew this time I wasn’t going to get better. I just had a feeling.
‘That’s when the doctor suggested St Clare Hospice. I was relieved. I felt at last someone was having an honest conversation with me. I also feel sad, because if I’d had this conversation earlier, maybe I’d have benefitted more – because now I only have weeks left to live.’
‘The one thing Sharon wanted before she dies is to get married, ‘and St Clare has managed to make that happen for me. They sorted out the special license, a letter from my doctor, and got everything organised for the registrar. I’d been trying to sort it out for ages. With St Clare, it all happened so quickly. We got married on Monday this week. It was great, and we got a heck of a lot of help from our neighbours too. They put on a massive buffet. I got married in my pyjamas with a matching hat. I mean, why not!’
‘There is only one thing I’d still like to do, which is go to Newquay – where I went on holiday with my Nan and Grandad when I was a kid. I’ve got happy memories there, but I won’t get there now. The other thing I want is to be clean every day, and that is where St Clare come in. Hospice at Home visit every day and give me a lovely wash. Without St Clare, I’d be more than struggling – like I was before – I’d be fighting for everything. I can’t thank St Clare enough.’
Thank you to Sharon and Ellis for sharing their St Clare story with us.