St Clare cared for Katy’s husband Ben, after he was diagnosed with a rare type of cancer.
‘Ben was the love of my life. Our relationship had always been easy, we enjoyed going out, went on lots of holidays and had so much fun together. We were then blessed with our two beautiful boys, Oliver and Max.
‘We were a happy family and life was good. Except, Ben had been having pain in his side for a couple of years but each time he went to the doctors, he was just advised to change his diet. We thought nothing more of it.
‘Then in January 2020, Ben was in so much pain, he looked and felt exhausted. He was sent to A&E with suspected appendicitis, but it was cancer. We were told that there was no cure and surgery wasn’t an option. Our world had changed forever.
‘Ben started chemo that March, and tried his best to adjust to his new way of life. We bought bikes and went cycling with the kids to stay active, and we bought a campervan so we could travel. If things got tough, we’d go somewhere and escape. The kids had no idea, and thought life was great.
‘We were referred to St Clare Hospice for pain management in January 2023. We spent precious time with Ben at the Hospice, making memories with the boys. I felt like someone had lifted the responsibility from me and I could just be his wife again.’
‘The boys had the best time at the Hospice; it was never a sad or scary place for them. The St Clare team organised so many fun activities for them – we unfortunately had to cancel our holiday to Center Parcs, so the staff brought Center Parcs to the Hospice with a jungle-themed tepee sleepover with their dad. They only have good memories of the Hospice, which is amazing considering what happened there.
‘Ben made it very clear that at the end of his life, he only wanted me there with him. I didn’t know what to expect, but it was very peaceful and quiet. There was no fear or anxiety. St Clare was our saving grace at the worst time of our lives.’
Ben died at St Clare Hospice in February 2023 aged 40.
‘Our son, Ollie, knew there would be a white ribbon tied to Daddy’s door when he had died. The staff had also placed knitted angels by Ben, so the boys had something to keep from their dad. They both got to spend time with him and chose what they wanted him to wear. They helped get him dressed and gave him all the pictures they’d drawn. Afterwards, they wanted to go to soft play, and off they went.
‘I’m happy with the ending that Ben experienced. We feel lucky to have had that. It was a situation we didn’t want to be in, but St Clare made such a difference in our journey. The Hospice will always be a special place for the boys and me.’
– Katy, Ben’s wife
We’d like to thank Ben’s family for allowing us to share his story following his death.