Diane is one of St Clare Hospice’s dementia support volunteers, who helps deliver a free, personalised, one-to-one service that supports the wellbeing of people living with advanced dementia in their own home in West Essex and East Hertfordshire.
We spoke to Diane about her St Clare story and how volunteering her skills and time gives her ‘whirlwind mind’ a sense of peace.
Q: What inspired you to start volunteering at St Clare Hospice and what keeps you coming back?
‘I enjoy supporting people living with dementia to focus on qualities of life, such as connection, enjoyment and laughter. I have always been in awe of the work of hospices, so when I found out St Clare were offering Namaste sessions/dementia support it was the perfect combination for me. What keeps me coming back? It’s a pleasure for me and a privilege to contribute to the work of the Hospice.’
Q: Can you share a memorable experience or moment from your time volunteering that really stuck with you?
‘There are many moments, or ‘glimmers’ in every session. Those little moments that light someone up, where they feel valued and important. The shared laughter. To see someone’s personality unfold and to get to know their likes and dislikes is great fun. There are many, many meaningful moments. There are also lots of almost unnoticed moments, such as when someone might curl into me for comfort or a cuddle, or reciprocate hand holding or a squeeze of a hand. Even though they may not have spoken a word or opened their eyes. It’s incredibly special.
‘There are also other moments of change, like when someone is initially sceptical of me but becomes comfortable and confident enough to crack jokes, or share a tear or concern with me. Being trusted is a lovely feeling.
‘Then there are the moments when I see someone’s personality really shine out and their retained abilities come to the fore. Like suddenly putting great attention to detail into their aqua painting, the pride in their face during a specific song, the motivation not to drop any ice cream out of the cone or lose a rolling chocolate drop, the piqued interest in songs and musicians not heard for a long time, to witness someone’s never ending patience in helping me to dance, to create something in clay, to share a lemonade in a plastic wine glass while discussing the loves of their life, to discuss vales and what makes life more enriching to them personally.
‘Being at such close quarters is also a rare insight into the love between the carer and their person with dementia. It’s blown me away how people are coping over long time periods, and to see love like that in action and in the eye contact between them. It’s really moved me.
‘So often it goes unnoticed amongst the busyness and fatigue of one person keeping two lives running, but to see true love like this in quiet moments within a home, it has blown me away. I think I always leave a nicer person from just being around it.’
Q: How do you feel your role as a volunteer contributes to the work and mission of St Clare Hospice?
‘I think the role of volunteering is essential in hospice work. It’s the support for each other, the kindness and the compassion, that we all want. Especially when a diagnosis is involved or life is shorter. The use of time really matters.’
Q: What have you gained personally from volunteering – skills, friendships, confidence or anything else?
‘More respect and understanding of the person with a diagnosis of dementia, increased motivation to pursue what really matters in an interaction – connection, value and happiness. An increasing wonderment at how caregivers manage everything and keep going. It’s actually left me speechless.
‘Also, a sense of peace during the session. Because for that two hours, I give undivided attention to someone else and my whirlwind brain stops. For that time, when it’s just me and the person. I’d have to add a consideration to what I prioritise, what really matters to me in my own life and what makes me ‘me’. ‘
Q: What would you say to someone who’s thinking about volunteering at St Clare Hospice but isn’t sure where to start?
‘If you are a human being and considering volunteering, you are perfect and you can do it! Just the consideration means you already care. It’s just about being human, and for everybody that steps forward there is somebody who would benefit from you.
‘There is a role for you. We all have strengths and weaknesses – I can’t sing and I’m not creative but I’m a good listener, connector, love to laugh and share time with snacks! – and there is something and someone for everyone. St Clare provide training and ongoing support and they are skilled in matching who suits who best. Give it a go!’
Interested in volunteering?
If Diane’s story has inspired you to volunteer your talents and time with St Clare, register your interest in volunteering below.