Harry and Hollie were childhood sweethearts. Together since they were 14, they had their whole lives mapped out – a big family when we were young, so they could travel when they retired. But their plans were unexpectedly and cruelly rewritten the moment Harry was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer.
Hollie, Harry’s wife, said: ‘This isn’t the life we imagined, but we got our big family – three very special daughters. Harry just loved the girls; they were literally his whole world. He’d get home from work and take them straight out to the park. He was the most amazing dad – always spoiling them.
‘When we found out Harry had stage 4 pancreatic cancer and wasn’t going to get better, our youngest wasn’t yet at school. So, she was with him all the time. Honestly, daddy was her best friend. She was always by his side in the moment I took care of him at home.
‘I did everything I could to help Harry stay at home, but his pain became too much for him. That’s when St Clare Hospice stepped in.’
With Harry’s pain increasing, the Hospice team advised that Harry could have a short stay at our Inpatient Unit to help get his pain under control and to support Hollie on how to manage his medication so they could have more time together at home.
But it got to the stage where Harry was in so much pain that he needed more medication than Hollie could give him. That’s when he went into the hospice for end-of-life care.
Hollie shared: ‘By now, Harry couldn’t get up, so we’d all gather on his bed for movie nights or to play games.
‘We knew after our first stay that there was nothing to fear about going there. It took just one night to realise what an amazing place it is – the care Harry got was phenomenal. The nurses made Harry’s room feel so homely – they even hung pictures on the walls. And the girls made artwork for their daddy and put it around the room with some of their teddies. There was a bed for me in the room too, so I could stay close.
‘Everyone was so caring. They thought of everything to make sure Harry and I could be together day and night in those final weeks. They gave us space so the children could spend time with their daddy after school too.
‘I worried the girls might find it scary. But they liked going – especially the toy room! And they still have the memory boxes they were given, full of rocks they painted at the hospice and bits from the hospice garden.
‘Harry never stopped making memories with the girls. By now, he was incredibly poorly but felt safe at the hospice. Yet he’d leave for a few hours just to give them a day out, like a trip to soft play.
‘He was so brave. No matter how ill he felt, he did it for our girls. None of it would have been possible without the nurses making sure he was comfortable enough to go. They gave us that time. Harry was in the hospice for seven weeks. I’m so grateful I could be with him the whole way through, and be right by his side at the end.
‘What stayed with me was how the nurses looked after all of us – not just Harry, but me and the girls too. The hospice gave us time together, space to be a family, and the kind of care you don’t get anywhere else.
‘I couldn’t have asked for a better husband or father to our girls. When we found out he had just a few months to live, he’d often tell me he didn’t want to be forgotten, especially by our three beautiful children. The girls are still young, but they’ll always remember their amazing daddy. Just like I will,’ Holly added.
Harry died in the hospice aged 32. Thank you to Harry’s family for giving us permission to share his story.