When Nicky was first referred to the hospice, her husband Andy admits they were filled with fear. “We dreaded it. We thought it would be a dark, gloomy place where people go to die… that once Nicky went in, she wasn’t coming out. That couldn’t have been further from the truth.”
What they experienced instead was highly skilled, compassionate specialist care that supported Nicky – and the whole family – both at home and in the hospice.
Expert care at the right time
Nicky was living with advanced cancer, and as her condition progressed, her needs became increasingly complex. A Clinical Nurse Specialist from the hospice visited them at home, assessing Nicky’s needs and putting support in place early. She helped reorganise the home, arranged equipment, and provided expert guidance on managing Nicky’s symptoms. Importantly, she reassured them that hospice care was flexible – that Nicky could come in for support and return home if she wished. When Nicky’s symptoms worsened, including confusion caused by brain tumours and exhaustion from lack of sleep, she made the decision herself.
“She said, ‘I think it’s time.’”
Within days, a bed was available, giving Nicky access to the specialist care she needed, exactly when she needed it.
Specialist symptom control and medication management
At home, Andy had been managing a complex array of medications – something he found overwhelming. “Compared to being a chief executive, the stress of organising Nicky’s tablets was tenfold.” In the hospice, that burden was lifted. Nicky’s symptoms were carefully stabilised by experienced clinical staff. “It wasn’t guesswork. If Nicky had pain, they’d say, ‘Let’s try this’ – and if that didn’t work, they’d adjust it. Even the timing of doses was considered.” The team took time to explain every medication, providing clear written guidance and practical support. When Nicky returned home, a nurse returned home with them that day to help with the medication plan. They explained everything Nicky would need and created a simple schedule, so Andy felt confident continuing her care.
“You’re not on your own – that’s how it felt.” Andy believes this specialist care ensured Nicky was kept as comfortable as possible at all times. “She was in the least amount of discomfort she could possibly be.”
Listening to Nicky and tailoring her care
A key part of Nicky’s care was how closely the team listened to her. Each week, consultants, doctors and nursing staff sat down with Nicky and Andy to review her care, asking simple but powerful questions: “How’s it going, Nicky? What are you feeling? What’s good, what’s bad?” This open dialogue ensured Nicky remained at the centre of every decision.
“She felt very comfortable – able to ask for what she wanted.”
Care that extends beyond the hospice walls
Even when Nicky was at home, the specialist care continued. The hospice arranged night sitters so Andy could rest during a time when Nicky’s symptoms meant she was waking frequently and needed constant supervision. “I wasn’t sleeping. I was watching her all the time to keep her safe… The night sitters were a game changer.” Morning carers also visited to support with personal care, ensuring Nicky was comfortable and dignified.
“It felt like the hospice followed us home.”
Making Nicky’s wishes possible
Throughout her illness, Nicky’s wish was to spend as much time at home as she could. Andy describes how the hospice team went above and beyond to make this happen – coordinating care, advocating for support, and working with other services. “They pushed and pushed to get her home for that extra couple of days… when she desperately wanted to be there.” Thanks to this determination, Nicky was able to return home three times – something Andy believes went far beyond expectations.
A place of comfort, safety and compassion
Inside the hospice, Nicky and her family found a calm, reassuring environment. “It made us feel safe, calm, loved.” Andy says it was the people who made the difference – the nurses, doctors, therapists and support staff staff who built strong, trusting relationships with Nicky. As she became more comfortable, Nicky herself reassured him: “It’s okay, I’m fine. The nurses are here. I’m comfortable with everybody.” That reassurance allowed Andy to step back at times, knowing she was in safe hands.
Dignity and compassion at the end of life
As Nicky’s condition declined, the focus of care shifted to ensuring she remained comfortable and at peace. Andy felt the team handled this stage with great sensitivity, always prioritising Nicky’s dignity. After her death, one small but powerful moment stayed with him. Before entering her room, staff gently knocked. “They said they did it out of dignity and respect. I found that incredibly touching.”
Ongoing support for the whole family
The hospice’s care did not end with Nicky’s death. Andy and their two sons have continued to feel the support of the team. “They didn’t stop caring when Nicky passed away. They’re still there for me and for our boys.” Reflecting on the experience, Andy is clear about the difference specialist hospice care made:
“I could not have got through this without that team.”
A legacy of giving back
In memory of Nicky, Andy and his family now support the hospice through fundraising and advocacy, sharing their story to help others understand what hospice care really means. “People think it’s dark and gloomy. A hospice is an amazing place where sad things happen. That is why they matter. That is why they need our support.”